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1. muse: (myooz): Greek Mythology. Any of the nine daughters of Mnemosyne and Zeus, each of whom presided over a different art or science. 2. muse: ---a) A guiding spirit. ---b) A source of inspiration. 3. muse: A poet.
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Saturday, February 14, 2004
It's a nice day, this. Valentine's Day, February 14. It could be nicer, seeing as that the whole concept is kind of useless for me, but oh well. What can you do. Just got to spend time with the family, hang out, etc. You know the drill.
This has officially been the nastiest week for me in all of Junior Year. There was just way to much to get done and way too much that still awaits. I sure do hope I make it another week or two.
On a lighter note.
Galenfang fights Gigas' for the first time! Look how exciting:

That's right, folks. Now how creepy IS that thing? (Not to mention three party members died under the boulders this thing threw.
One day I'll find what I truly deserve. One day. More when I have something profound.
Posted at Saturday, February 14, 2004 by janus905
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Tuesday, February 10, 2004
Just when I thought things couldn't get any crazier, they did. At least I'm over the first hump of the week. Since I wasn't signed up for the AMC, I got to attend Dra. Konz's scary 'review-for-the-big-test' lesson, which was useful. And then we had an insanely-enjoyable math class involving discussions of all sorts on art, philosophy, and music. How exciting. Of course, then I was dragged to the lunch meeting for our English presentation that at least two of us have been freaking out over for a good bit of time now. So I lost lunch. And had to head to Physics, where I got more crap scared out of me by the Colonel. That man is downright unnerving, especially in regards to the Mega-Mega-Mutha Test scheduled Thursday. I still don't know what velocity is. I think I'm dead.
Then we actually HAD the presentations, shortly after an audlob escapade featuring little soccer balls and bathroom greetings and Gatorade caps that went awry (in front of Mr. Barry Potoker). Despite a certain person's misgivings, *christinecough*, we did quite well, especially with the circumstances. I always knew we could hold our own. I'm pleased we managed a whole 13 minutes out of a 12 minute presentation. Oh well. Better over than under, my granny always tells me. Not really, but that sounded more heartfelt.
Then I came back on the bus, hopped on the second one to get back home, and got off again, because a big crowd of people with signs were awaiting something at Robinson, the Middle School right next to my house. I found out what the scoop was and with the help of Alex and her very friendly cell-phone, let my folks know.
Senator Kerry was coming to visit the polling station! We waited for about an hour (I've never seen a serious politician before), got some pictures, etc.. I missed his arrival because my sister wanted to get her notebook from the car for her so he could sign it. Well, luckily enough, we did. Stick another tally under the "Signatures of Maybe-Famous People" mark, okay? He struck me as a nice, down-to-earth guy who wasn't overly excited or loud or arrogant, just a decent guy. I kind of liked that. Since I'll be able to vote in the next election, these things are getting important!
I'll post a few pictures later.
I've had so much to do lately I haven't had a free second to do anything fun, really. Besides trying to be there for people and trying to fight for myself.
So pardon with the sporadic posting. I'm trying to get regular again.
Janus
EDIT: Oh, how could I forget? I'm praying for Mr. Struck's speedy recovery - he's damn near one of my favorite teachers at the school, and I can't have him having 'chest pains' when he's supposed to be a teacher! Shame on him! But seriously, I wish there was something I could do. I love the damn guy.
Posted at Tuesday, February 10, 2004 by janus905
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Wednesday, February 04, 2004
I've been so swamped lately. I'm so sorry I haven't updated this recently. Since I devote most of my time during the weekends to working on FFXI, my weekdays are my prime opportunities to get in blog posting, and I barely have enough time for that. I've been trying to keep up with BDI stalking, writing for FFO WarCry, crafting on Revelation, and more. Geez. Not to mention our debates today (which went very well), Plath plesenting Friday, and more. And I have a midterm in math tomorrow. Dios mio!
Geez. Wish me luck, y'hear?
AAANDY.
Posted at Wednesday, February 04, 2004 by janus905
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Thursday, January 29, 2004
There are few situations as deserving of the word "Glorious" as the five days of freedom we all were able to relax and enjoy. Winter's my second favorite month for a reason, and a big part of that is that miraculously divine white stuff we native islanders refer to as "snow."
I don't even really think I did that much. Exciting stuff, anyways.
Saturday we went down to Mathews, VA to look at some houses with waterfront Bay acreage. It was a tad disturbing. We met this scary preacher dude who took us around his cluttery house and answered the phone with a rousing cry of "Praise the Lord!" If my memory was still serving me right, I'd tell you more. Then we took a break with His Honorable Magistrate Bob Chmiel, this scary guy who's a good friend of my grandfather. He was building a new room onto his already-huge house for four ferrets. Creepy. We looked at more houses, then came home. Ate at a nice leetle restaurant called "Goodfellows" in Gloucester (sp?), and as always, I had a strawberry shake at Hornes.
The next few days were all blurry. In fact, so blurry, I don't even remember what happened, besides the fact that I hung around and did stuff and played FFO and that sort of thing. It was kind of exciting. Had some MAD email correspondence with Strucky.
It was one of the MOST INCREDIBLE feelings I've ever felt, listening at 4:30 on the radio Wednesday morning. We SO deserved a cancellation. Glorious. Glorious. Glorious.
Working on a WARRIOR strategy guide for our ffo.warcry.com website, the BDI Valentine's Stalker Project, and more in the meantime.
TELL ME if you are any good at Flash. I NEED SOMEONE GOOD AT FLASH.
Look to the yellow for a secret poetry message.
Posted at Thursday, January 29, 2004 by janus905
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Thursday, January 22, 2004
Preface: Anything following this disclaimer is not necessarily my only opinion, my thoughts on how others should live their lives, etc. This is SOLELY to give the reader insight into the way I think - not so that they may judge me, but so that they may understand me. In no way to I claim the following to be scientifically validated or entirely - or at all - correct.
After much deliberation, I realized the problem I'm having is not with Introverts and Extroverts. I was so strongly forced off that battleground (for indeed it is a subjuect in which people take utmost pride) that I was able to look at my argument with a different perspective.
Indeed, the common rule of thumb is a good way of looking at E/I:
Introverts "recharge" in their own company.
Extroverts "recharge" in the company of others.
My own analogy can be more appropriately worded as well:
Introverts make decisions within themselves.
Extroverts make decisions outside themselves.
Thus, the conclusion was reached: extroverts are oriented to what's outside of them, while introverts focus inward.
And then it hit me. Neither of these have any bearing on what's been bothering me. So I looked to other validated methods for answers.
The "Big Five," the IPIP, had what I was looking for.
"Openness to Experience."
This phrase, separated from Extraversion, can be interpreted two ways. With Experience as a noun and a verb.
"Openness to Experience (or Experimenting)" is one thing I find extremely important. From a young age, we were all instructed something along the lines of, "try new foods! You might like them!" This OtE is completely (or mainly) based on acceptance. It takes great strength to step out of our "comfort zones" and try something that might bring change.
One of the hardest lessions I've ever learned was this very concept. It was extremely embarassing and hurtful, and this is one of the reasons OtE is so vital to me. Why? Get to the point, Andy? If you have an Openness to Experience(ing), you have a Willingness to Change. And I am a firm supporter of change. A caveman years and years ago had to have said to himself, "You know, it's a risk, but it might be worth it to rub these two sticks together." And thank God he did - that he left his comfort zone - that he willed change - that he was open to experiencing.
The second translation, "Openness to Experience," is a bit more abstract. It deals with emotion in its depth and breadth.
We've all seen people that seem like they just "act" at life. People who really don't feel, or think - that seem more like robots than humans. They are the people who are closed to Experience, the noun.
No matter how wrong I am on other topics, I will UNFLINCHINGLY and UNFAILINGLY support optimism of any kind, whether tenanted or not. Although an argument for another day, it slightly plays a role in OtE as well, and it will all come together soon.
People who are OtE don't see life as a movie or television show in which all they have control of is themzselves. They see it as a three-dimensional, interactive collage in which characters are a their finest when they are sharing with others. People that are OtE realize that every little thing is precious and is worth interacting with, understanding, and fully experiencing.
The poster in the math room says something along these lines:
SUCCESS IS
getting out of bed every morning and knowing...
that there's something out there that you love
that there's something always something to be done
and it's bigger than you
and that you can't wait to work on it again.
This is the essence of Openness to Experience. It is a combination that eventually can be defined as this.
"Openness to Experience is the understanding that life is for LIVING and not just for having, and is the willingness to change yourself to better understand and interact with the world around you."
I think this is a good thing to strive for. 'Nuff said.
Flame away!!!111oneone
(Please, once again, note this is not advice, recommendation, or fiat - this is just how Andy defines something that's important to him.)
XO
Posted at Thursday, January 22, 2004 by janus905
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Wednesday, January 21, 2004
It suddenly occurs to me that I'm not very happy.
I'm missing something huge and important that I really need.
And I don't know where it is or how to get it.
It's amazing. Yet again, I was feeling incredible on the way home today, but now I'm sitting here feeling depressed and aching and wanting more than I could ever have.
Maybe I need to stop using the computer. Maybe I need to stop talking to people too. Heck, I don't even know who I am talking to right now. Just I've got a hole that needs to be dealt with, and I can't take care of it myself, because I don't even know what could plug the hole up.
I'm not really getting anything done anymore. I'm failing. I'm inefficient. I'm not making myself look any better. And there's nobody that can help me.
*chuckles* I love how I'm making myself feel worse just by sitting here typing.
If I was able to play games during the weekdays, at least I wouldn't have this on my mind.
SOMETHING NEEDS TO HAPPEN.
Why am I not good enough?
Relationships become very important, as the cosmos surrounds you with a number of positive influences to brighten your life. Mars continues to move through Aries, which is stirring up issues associated with your partnerships, and encouraging you to clear the air. But early on, Mars makes a powerful trine to Pluto, and this means passion in no uncertain terms. There is a sense of release and of freedom, which may translate into a deepening of the bond between you.
Posted at Wednesday, January 21, 2004 by janus905
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In addition to the comments, I'd just like to take a minute to clear up any confusion or hostility about the post on the 20th.
The post was designed as a possible argument to certain points of view and as a way of getting several of my opinions into text.
I hope nobody was offended. I am in no way saying that what I wrote is correct, appopriate, or even entirely believed by me.
I am extremely introverted, and would never seek to insult those who are, including myself.
My writing takes a bit of a prissy tone when I'm working with things like this, and I'll make sure I curb that level down a bit next time I write.
But, just to keep in mind - Just because I'm Andy doesn't mean I'm stupid. But honestly I don't think that that was the issue here, I was to a certain extent out of line.
I do intend to use the phrase "Mediavert" and another, "Ambivert," more frequently. Although I won't post more now to avoid a few flames. *winks*
So, everything okay?
Andy
Posted at Wednesday, January 21, 2004 by janus905
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A box lies in my path.
What is in it? It’s taped shut.
Closed, sealed, shut.
I can’t release the hinges.
I can’t undo the taping.
I can’t open the box.
So all I can do is drag it along with me.
Keep it with me while I whisper.
Hope it will hear.
Keep it with me while I speak.
Hope it will listen.
Keep it with me while I scream.
Hope it will answer.
But the box is closed, and it will stay so
Maybe it fears the touch of fresh air
Maybe it fears change
Maybe it doesn’t want the world to know what’s inside.
Maybe it doesn’t want me to know what’s inside.
So I will not open it.
I will not become a godforsaken Pandora.
Light will never touch its jewels and mysteries and spices.
So I’ll put the box back down.
On the ground.
Weep and then leave.
And watch as the whole world passes it by.
Posted at Wednesday, January 21, 2004 by janus905
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Tuesday, January 20, 2004
The average Tuesday. Spanish was a bear with all the Libro Rojo-like problems, and there's more due Thursday. Hooboy. Math - what a KILLAH LOG QUIZ - but otherwise decent. Mr. Berry's great for helping me out so much. Physics - labs out the wazoo. The Colonel is a Taskmaster! But it's okay, we got a lot done and my grades need all the boosters they can get. History was one of the roughest lecture periods of my whole life (save for the last President one). All the English stuff is all coming together and everything is due...and...and... it's almost time for impeturbable (unpeturbable? that's right) me to start going nuts.
The 4-day weekend is going to be GLORIOUS.
GLORIOUS.
GLORIOUS.
Just another aside. This one's a bit lengthy and is on extroverts/introverts.
Everyone thinks they can categorize introverts and extroverts by watching them in a situation and seeing how they behave. They're at a party and see someone smiling and having fun. "Hey, that guy's an extrovert! He's having fun!" Mistake #1. In regards to the Myers-Briggs Type Interface, E/I is determined by one simple rule of thumb. It's all about decision making.
Extroverts act before thinking.
Introverts think before acting.
But what most people don't understand is...
Both types act.
And both types think.
This means that they're much more similar than people can lead themselves to believe. In fact, in their differences lies their similarities. Think of the last time you saw two extreme extroverted people together. I'm sure you could hear them from miles away. And think about the last time you saw two introverts in a room alone together. I bet you could have heard a pin drop. In China. Although these are gross exaggerations, they serve my point. No extrovert is complete without an introvert. No introvert is complete without an extrovert. (Or an opposite side, at least.) In order to become fully developed, rounded human beings, people must understand and embrace both of their halves, the engaging, outward-directed E and the reflective, inward-directed I.
This is getting confusing, so I'll switch mediums.
There's a reason why God made people people and not cats. Human beings are, without doubt, deep, complex, multi-faceted, talented, and always better at something than you are. And to look at the gift of the fellow human being with occasional doubt or dislike is a terrible mistake.
Some people believe that the first and foremost person in their lives should be themselves.
Extroverts think this.
Introverts think this.
The wiser people who have embraced both their sides know that, no matter who you are, other people are key. In my humble opinion,
Extroverts should use their other-oriented skills to help people understand themselves.
Introverts should use their own understanding to orient themselves towards others.
I am hereby instituting a new term. This term represents the conjunction of E and I into the perfect and wholly desirable mean of the two.
The MEDIAVERT ( M) is who I try to be, and sometimes who I am without even trying. The Mediavert is extroverted when he or she needs to be, and introverted when is appropriate, and both as the case may be. And the Mediavert is entirely people-centered.
Because people matter. And if people were cats, life would suck.
And some people, like me, are allergic to cats anyways.
And to people who can't stand people.
Posted at Tuesday, January 20, 2004 by janus905
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Thursday, January 15, 2004
Imagination is original sin
Fruit of optimistic creativity
Keeping me smiling
Keeping you guessing
Posted at Thursday, January 15, 2004 by janus905
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